Thursday, October 2, 2008

Dreams......

Hello there! I’m Amy…..the girl Mike may have mentioned a time or two. I’m the girl that can’t believe she’s finally found the man of her dreams and didn’t have to settle on one thing. I’m the girl that at 34 years old, wondered if a man, with all of the qualities that I’d had hoped for, dreamed about and tried so hard live worthy of and to be ready for, could possibly exist. I’m the girl who…. at the beginning of this new year, prayed for contentment and more patience…. in a plan I couldn’t begin to understand but knew existed for my life. I am a girl that is profoundly honored to be the future wife of Mike Whitmore and absolutely humbled at the opportunity to be a mother to three beautiful, loving, trusting, kind, and fun children! My heart is over flowing with excitement and joy as I live each day, getting to know my future family better and better.

There is a place in my heart however that aches at times. It aches for the girl who once dreamed about marrying a man like Mike Whitmore. I’m sure she dreamed of one day having children like Alexis, James and Gabby. I can’t help but think she dreamed of kneeling at the alter of the temple…across from her “dream man” to be married for time and all eternity. Over a period of about 18 years, her dreams came true…. one by one, just like mine (only mine seemed to appear all at once!) For some reason, that girl---who grew up to be Mrs. Deborah Whitmore, was chosen to give her dreams up, for a time, and by doing so, allowed all mine to come true. I can’t begin to understand the how’s and why’s, but I am beginning to realize the magnitude of the responsibility that I have to ensure that she gets those precious dreams returned back to her someday!

Although I have never been blessed with the opportunity to meet Deborah in this life….I have come to admire, respect, appreciate and love her a great deal! I love her for many reasons and they seem to multiply each day as I have more and more to be grateful for! I recognize that Mike would not be the man that he is today, quite literally….the man of my dreams…. without a strong, loving, woman by his side. I owe her so much and I look forward to the day (hopefully many, many, many years from now) when I get to see her and thank her personally for the priceless gifts that her life…blessed mine with! I pray that I live each day with the gratitude I feel this day for Deborah and for her life.

My heart aches in another place as I think about Deborah’s family. Having been blessed with two AMAZING sisters of my own, I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to them. I literally cry my eyes out at the very thought of it. I can’t imagine how I would feel about meeting the woman one of my brother-in-laws had chosen to marry, after being married to MY sister. Knowing how much my sisters love being mother’s…..how much they love their husbands and adore their children….I know that nobody could love their families more than they do! (Second in line would for sure be me!) How could I trust some “new woman” to honor the sacred roll of motherhood the way my sister does? I would have a LONG checklist and for sure some kind of background check, possibly drug screening and of course there would be lots of prayer. One might begin to understand why I am anxious and nervous and excited to meet Deborah’s family! If any of you happen to be reading this, I hope you understand why I might have tears in my eyes when we meet! (Although, I’m sure I will be trying my hardest to contain my emotions…. as I look terrible when I cry!) I will understand if takes you a while to get used to the idea of me living in the same home as the Whitmore’s. I’ll understand if you ask me to slow down when I drive, or ask me to demonstrate that I can safely put Gabby’s booster seat in place. If you want to know about my family or my friends, my health history….what ever it is…..I’m happy to share…..because I would want to know everything I could about anyone who thought they had what it took to be a second mom to my sisters children. I would also want to know that my sister would not be forgotten and that her name would always be reverenced! Of that…..you have my word!




This is a picture of Deborah with Alexis, taken almost 12 years ago. I love the smile on her face as she holds her first baby, her little girl....Alexis. In some small way, I think I understand her smile! A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend time with Alexis, just the two of us. I asked her if she was OK with me joining their family. She shared some incredible things with me about her feelings on that subject. I told her that I had never been a mom before and that I was sort of clueless on how to be a mom to three children all at once. I told her that I had one thing.... "LOVE……I HAVE A LOT of LOVE in my heart to give.” Alexis looked at me with her big, beautiful brown eyes and said, “that’s good…because that’s all you need!” My eyes welled with tears and I smiled......according to Alexis……(and confirmed by a feeling that made my heart beat faster,) I have all I need to be qualified. I am confident that the Lord will take care of the rest!

Dreams do come true!

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Very sweet Aim, you made me cry!

Josh said...

I love you Amy and I'm so happy for you and the direction the Lord is taking your life. I'm selfishly grateful that direction involves Seattle, where my inlaws are, but way more than that I'm grateful for a countless other reasons. :)

I know you're going to be an amazing mother. I've watched in awe the way you've loved my children and our neices and nephews. I'm so excited to be able to share experiences in motherhood with you! My girls are also so thrilled to be blessed with new cousins! I can't wait for them to meet!!

I love you Amy!!

Love,
Lisa

C*K*J said...

Wow...beautifully said, Aim. I have said from the beginning how confidant I am that you will enrich and bless the lives of Mike, his kids and all those who know him in ways they can't even yet imagine!
I am so happy that all your dreams are coming true. No one deserves it more! I love ya girl!

Floats said...

Right now my kids are looking at me and wondering why I am sobbing!

Wow, Amy. You are amazing. Such an example to me in so many ways. Thanks for your gift of friendship.

Glad to see you're putting the songto good use:)

XOXO
K

SuzyQ said...

Wow Amy, that was a beautiful tribute. I know you will be a wonderful mother to those sweet kids. I couldn't be more happy for you, and that all of your dreams are coming true.

BrandonKristin said...

amy you are amazing. I am so happy and excited for you. You deserve all the happiness one can get!

Sharon said...

Talk about a tear jerker. I am used to you making me laugh not cry. Love you lots and I am so excited for you.

Crystal said...

Hi Amy,
That was put so perfectly said. It reminds me of why things are the way they are. As a mother of three, sadly I think of a day that I might depart my family, reading this confirms that their is a plan for all of us and it reminds me to live life. thank you.

Crystal

Adam and Dani said...

What you wrote was so beautiful. I know that Deborah is happy and smiling knowing you are there. MIke is truly blessed to have found you. Congratulations to you both. Love, Dani Litchfield

Miss Carly said...

Your husband mike sent me the link to this blog. We are twitter followers of each other. I'm all business on there but once I began reading this post I turned back into a sensitive human being.

Your post is incredible and beyond words. I've never read something so beautiful and genuine. Anyone who knows you is lucky to have met you and the children of Deborah are nothing less than blessed to have someone to caring and faithful in their lives; to give a piece of love back to them that they may have lost in their tragedy.

God Bless you and never lose sight of your heart and how wonderful of a person you truly are.

 
Blogger design by suckmylolly.com